Mark
We’re going to be taking a look at apps what we now commonly known as apps. And some of the weird wild and wacky ones that we’ve got around. To start off apps, that’s just short for applications, isn’t it.
Seamus
It is yeah, and I’ve actually just used that word I’ve got some equally weird useless and funny websites as well so there’s some of them are apps just on your phone and some of them are websites.
Mark
Okay, so come on, what’s the first one, let’s get into it.
Seamus
Well the first one my favourite is his dad jokes – as an app they you just get all these -keep on getting new dad jokes which you know is a good way to drive your kids nuts, which is always handy thing to do.
Mark
Hey, don’t knock it I drive my listeners mad on a Wednesday. That’s Worst Joke Wednesday.
Seamus
And I’m not, I’m not gonna give the URLs of all these websites, but I’ll put them on my website, so that you can have a look when we finish but there’s an amazing amount of ingenuity due to make useless apps or funny apps.
There’s, there’s another one that or there’s two actually call themselves the most useless apps, ever. Nothing to see here. And, and you just you download the app and nothing comes up and then you can press a button for more nothing to happen. There’s another one that’s the same thing does nothing but the it says on it, “but wait for the update”.
Another one I like is SMTH, send me to heaven, and you put this app on your phone you throw it up in the air, and then the app calculates the height you threw the phone
Mark
What! Who comes up with these things?
Seamus
I don’t know, far too much spare time.
There’s one for very very shy people if you want to be on social media but you’re too shy away from actually like someone in real life there’s a thing called Binky, which is a social media channel that, whether you like or comment or whatever, none of your whatever you do, goes anywhere. So it’s just a really really safe social media app that you talk to by yourself really.
Mark
OK, that’s for those that are afraid to go out at night, I suppose.
Seamus
Yeah. And speaking of that, there’s another really handy app called “Is it dark outside”. You, you put your location into the phone, and it tells you whether it’s dark or not outside.
Mark
Right. So if you’re afraid of Jack the Ripper or ghosts.
Seamus
You’ve been sitting on a, you know, some sort of YouTube game or, or something then, yeah, it’ll tell you or, or if you’re too lazy to go and look out the window.
Mark
Yeah, that’ll be about it and all these apps are about and I suppose, they’re there because people download them.
Seamus
Some of them have surprisingly large downloads it’s just because they’re weird and people want to try them. So yeah, it’s quite amazing, really, there’s a few sort of handy weird ones, there’s one called drunk mode that blocks people that you don’t want to call when you’re drunk which I can see would be handy sometimes.
Mark
I wonder if you can use that on Twitter cuz I know a few movie stars that go off the face a little bit.
Seamus
And so shy people again you, there’s one called fake chat conversations. So you can have have these fake friends that you have conversations with, but I could see that would be quite handy – if you needed to get out of something out of a meeting is at all now a really important chat conversation coming along.
Mark
Mmmh – that would be good for the procrastinate anyway, yeah.
Seamus
I found when I was doing my, you know, highly technical research on this. I found a lot of good websites there’s one that if you’re having a bad day. In fact, I’m hoping this will come through. It’s called nooooooooooooooo.com, and you press this button and I’m just hoping this will come through on the sound.
So that’s, that’s the Darth Vader No, so if you’re having a bad day you can think there’s always you know someone worse off than me.
There’s another one called Windows Swap. And that’s actually quite addictive. You go into the website obviously and then you click on the new window and it’s just people, pulled out their views outside their window so you can be looking at a view outside someone in Tokyo outside their window will then in Indiana USA or whatever so that’s sort of useless but it’s strangely addictive, looking at what other people see out of their windows.
Mark
Yeah I saw one, what was it, there was one where you downloaded it, and it ended up having to chase your cursor, all over the screen because it wouldn’t say still.
Seamus
Yes, there’s one word that called staggering beauty or no it was called that but as this sort of a snake, that’s moving around and you can move the snake around but if you move your mouse fast it goes into these really flashing psychedelic colours so it’s not for people with epilepsy and even if you don’t have epilepsy it’s really quite confronting having all these weird things happen on the screen in front of you.
Mark
A lot of these things that are happening. I mean, I still can’t understand. Yeah, I suppose, when you take a look at what’s happening with Tick Tock at the moment, and Facebook – having these fun apps would be the way to go, but I’ll tell you what you’ve either got to have a warped sense of humour, or very, very bored with life to come up with some of these ideas.
Seamus
Yeah. There’s one of my favourite ones is called Patience is a Virtue. And you log into that and it just has the moving logo of your page loading, which goes on forever. Never loads and it just changes the text – this one I’m on at the moment it says “so how’s your day so far?” And then they’ll say “just wait a few minutes will be a little bit longer”, but it never goes anywhere.
Mark
That sounds like my internet at home
Seamus
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, sometimes you wouldn’t know whether you’re actually on the, on that site or is just it really was the internet going bad.
Mark
So if you want to have a bit of fun with these apps and you don’t run out of time – what you can just do a Google search for useless apps or do you just have to go searching through the app stores and the iPhone stores and everything else?
Seamus
No, do a search for, you know, funny weird useless apps or websites. I will have all of these apps on my website, later on today.
If you need to use any of these but yeah it’s really weird what people put on the internet is quite, quite strange.
Mark
Yeah, well let’s face it, the internet itself is strange because I still remember way back when, and I am showing my thing, that with the internet when I first saw it, it was all in DOS, and all you could do was type a message to friends. Yeah. And, and that’s all he could do and I took for ages because it was all dial up. Nowadays it’s sort of a Hooly Dooley How fast can you go?
Seamus
Exactly. Yeah, and no one even knows the old dial up noise he used to get any more.
Mark
Maybe I should record it.
Seamus
I’m sure someone has, somewhere. Go, go back in time to experience the internet in the 90s or 80s.
Mark
Yes back when it was a lot more gentle it because it was actually, I’m just trying to think for myself on the internet that would have been 1983.
Seamus
Not sure I can’t actually remember when it first came out.
Mark
I’m just showing my age, thanks very much, I just embarrassed myself. So you’re gonna put all these links and everything on boldacious with that boldacious.com.au.
Seamus
Yeah, yeah.
Mark
Okay, people want to go and search, instead of searching themselves if they want to be lazy, and get onto your site – you’ll have them all there. You could have all sorts of fun with this
Seamus
Well you can yes, it’s just sort of is quite addictive. There’s one, or just one more that I like is a website where you can you can send them a tweet, your favourite tweet, and for mere 89 US dollars freight free, they will send you back a gold plated frame of that tweet.
Mark
What!
Seamus
Isn’t that something you’ve always wanted to be able to do.
Mark
Okay, well I suppose for those that of course those listening in Melbourne at the moment in lockdown go search for uselss apps and just have a bit of fun.
Seamus
Yes. Yeah.
Mark
Thanks very much for that mate. You must have spent hours looking for all that stuff.
Seamus
It was dedicated research, I’m dedicated to this sort of thing.
Mark
Not gonna go down that road. OK, Seamus thanks very much mate.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
WEBSITES
http://www.nooooooooooooooo.com/
This classic exclamation “nooooo” closes the Revenge of the Sith when Darth Vader character is no longer the badass darkest villain in the universe and becomes a joke. Compared to his problems – yours may seem less tragic.
https://window-swap.com/
Open a new window somewhere in the world
https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm
My hovercraft is full of eels in many languages
https://cat-bounce.com/
Bouncing Cats and Make it rain cats
http://www.patience-is-a-virtue.org/
“Well, we admire your patience.”
http://www.staggeringbeauty.com/
Warning – contains flashing images
https://www.stickermule.com/framed-tweets
Paste the URL to any tweet, make edits, and create a memorable piece of modern art. All for USD 89, freight-free!
APPS
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.maxprod.dadjokes
Dad Jokes
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=de.tap.easy_xkcd
“A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language.”
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sophonaloaf.nothing&hl=en_US
Nothing
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.gorro.nothing
More Nothing
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.carrotpop.www.smth&hl=en
SMTH – Send me to Heaven
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/binky-satisfy-your-phone-cravings/id1137768958
For the very shy, or desperate
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.tiawy.fakechat
Another for the very shy, or desperate
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=uk.co.tsarev.isitdark&hl=en_US
For the lazy or confused
https://apps.apple.com/us/app/tunity-hear-any-muted-tv/id944230455?ign-mpt=uo%3D8
Hear any muted TV
https://www.thrillist.com/tech/nation/apps-to-prevent-drunk-texting-and-late-night-mistakes
Protect yourself from drunk-calling
Leave a Reply